Poor in Spirit: My Perspective of Honduras

Wow! Where do I even begin?


This past week was my first experience on an overseas Mission trip....I have been overseas before on 2 choir tours for college, but never for missions. It was the most amazing trip that I have ever been on....


A few months ago I began getting really uncomfortable in my spirit. I was uncomfortable being comfortable! I was so tired of being in my comfort zone. I wanted to go on an adventure with the Lord. I was tired of business as usual at my job, at home, everywhere. Recently before this trip this feeling intensified to the point that when we got down there to Honduras to the poorest places and the orphanages I was so comfortable being there with them. I could have stayed there, and I can't wait to go back.


When the opportunity first came up about this school mission trip to Honduras, I immediately was interested. I went to an information meeting about it and came home to tell my parents about it. They were not as interested in the thought of going as I was. In fact they were very against me going... mostly for safety reasons. There was no arguing with them so I dropped it and tried to accept it as the Lord's will and just honor them. About a month later I went to the Passion Conference in Atlanta. One night while I was there they were showing a video about them taking the Conference to other countries. One minute I was enjoying the video, the next the Lord spoke to me and I knew I was supposed to go to Honduras. I had to go.....So I brought it back up to my parents who were still very opposed. I told them the Lord had spoken to me and I knew I was supposed to go. I asked them to pray about it and then I just left it in the Lord's hands. I never doubted from that moment on that I was supposed to go. And God was faithful! He changed both my parents hearts about me going. I didn't have to press them. God used other means to convince them by his own Power. Others knew I was supposed to go too and prayed to such ends! It was amazing how God orchestrated this trip! My parents were still very nervous for me to go and had a difficult time trusting the Lord about me, but they are learning and I am very thankful for them listening to the Lord. It's hard for them me being the baby of the family and the only girl...but they Love the Lord and they love me! :) But the Lord loves me more!


After many fundraisers and much prayer we departed from Atlanta last friday. I'm not even sure where to begin. There is a family connection that our group has through our Leader, Mrs. Wanda Peterson. Several years ago Mrs. Wanda's daughter , Amanda (who is my age) sent a letter in her shoebox through the Operation Christmas Child ministry. The Girl who got her box wrote Amanda back and since then the relationships between Mrs. Wanda and the Girl's family have been built. The Girl's name is Suellen and the first night we were in Honduras Suellen got married. They planned it so that Mami Wanda (as they lovingly call her) could be there. The Love that Suellen's whole family has for Mrs. Wanda was so precious! And throughout the week we got the chance to get to know the WHOLE family. Suellen and her little girl Ellie, Suellen's sister Danny and Her family :), and other cousins....they saw us all as family! It made the trip ten times more Real! By the end of the trip we were all crying hating to see each other go.

The girls at Alpha & Omega Singing for us

The 2nd day we went to an orphanage called ALPHA & OMEGA. This was my favorite place that we went. The Orphanage is supported by Samaritan's purse. They give chickens, pigs, and other animals and help them learn how to take care of them. The orphanage has a church and a school also. The church started out as just the orphans and then the community surrounding them started hearing the music and would ask if they could come and now there are about 200 people who come to the church. What was so amazing to me about this orphanage was that the house parents who run it are teaching the orphans to reach out to their community. The older girls in the house go into the poorest villages and minister and invite people to church. While we were here, the older girls (ages 13-17) performed songs for us. A few played guitar and the rest sang. It was so precious! After they sang for us, we sang and danced for them.
They are familiar with the Revelation Song in Honduras so we sang that.

The girls and I and Angelina in the church at Alpha & Omega

After this we had a time to play with the kids doing face paint, fingernail painting, soccer, and other games, but the older girls grabbed me and asked me to sing for them. They grabbed a guitar and handed it to me and we all sat around on the steps and sang in English and in Spanish. We sang Hymns and New songs. They even gave me an English piece that I didn't know and made me sight read it :) That was fun! They taught me "Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus" in Spanish and made me practice it and practice it until I got it right. We did this for about an hour and then when they found out I played the piano they took me to the church and plugged up the keyboard and we sang some more. I then told them that I write songs and I played "The Waiting" for them. They loved it in English, but when I and another from our Mission Group tag-teamed to try to explain to them what it meant and they actually understood they Loved it even more! :) That made me so happy to know that one of the songs the Lord has given me for young girls may have the possibility of impacting a girl there!! These girls became very very close to my heart and are now my sisters! After we had time to play with them, they took us to the poorest village in the city which was interestingly called "Glory of God". We went with the older girls to pass out candy to the children and talk to the families. This community little by little is being converted to Christianity. After all of this is when we had to say our goodbyes.... It was not too too hard for me there because something in my heart told me I would see them again. The ride back to the hotel was what was hard for me realizing that I wasn't the one who was ministering to them that day.... JESUS was the one ministering to US.


The People in Honduras have next to nothing materially compared to us, but they seem to understand the Love of God way more than we do.  Matthew 5:3 says,


      "Blessed are the Poor in Spirit, for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven."

Merci, Me, and Tanya- these girls seemed
to be the leaders of the group. Love them! :)

Talk about being Poor in Spirit.  Something I learned this week is that they are way more blessed than us. We may be blessed with material wealth, but the Beattitudes don't say anything about "blessed are the materially wealthy people"...... in fact it's hard for the rich to enter the kingdom. These people don't have a lot of material possessions, but they have what they need because the Father provides it and they acknowledge it is from Him and have faith that he will continue to provide for them, and then they have each other! The girls would hold our hands and hug us continually and walk with us arm in arm everywhere we went! They have so much Love that is flowing out of the abundance of their hearts because they realize how much they are loved by God the Father! The house dad told us that the children never fight and always get along. They watch over one another and are being trained to take care of one another. It was amazing to watch them all love each other and love us!  Jesus is everything to them!


There were other orphanages we went too such as the churches orphanage and Our little roses, but ALPHA & OMEGA had the most impact on my heart! I didn't know how much Spanish I actually knew, but I was able to communicate with the children and we understood each other. I just jumped in right away trying to speak Spanish! It was so fun to try and to watch the Lord God fill in the gaps :) He did this for me all week. Coach Gomez, who is fluent and from Cuba, told me that I know more than I have been letting on, but I lack confidence. I told him I didn't know how much I knew. The Lord helped me and I wasn't afraid to try to communicate with them! :)


We had so many great experiences:

Mrs. Daniel gave me some puppets to use with the children!
Hannah, Angelina, and Bethany helped me show them off :)
I used the cow and called her Rosalita la Vaca (Rosalita the Cow)
They were very helpful with the children! Thanks Mrs. Daniel

 Ministering in Song and dance for La Cosecha Church- we thought there were supposed to be 3,000 people, but there were actually 7,000 Hondurans there!!!! WOW! The Spirit of God was there and I didn't even notice there were so many people.


Ministering in song and dance for La Cosecha School- thought there were 300 there but there were approximately 1,000 students there.


Ministering at a back yard bible club at Danny's house- Danny is Suellen's sister and we ministered to the kids in her village in her back yard and cooked them spaghetti


Painting a house for the girls in the Orphanages transitional home- These girls are young women who choose to stay involved and apart of the orphanage after they are too old to live in the home. If they want to stay the orphanage provides a house for them as long as they work and are continuing studying. It is for them to be able to learn to live on their own.


Hiking to the Coca Cola Sign which is like the Hollywood sign haha


Getting corn rows lol :) done from a Honduran lady at her home and getting to minister to her family while we were there :)


Witnessing to our busdriver- The whole week our translator, who is the assistant headmaster at our school, was witnessing to him and the men at Samaritan's purse were also. When he dropped us at the airport yesterday, the Lord led me to go tell him he Needed Jesus Christ in His heart and I asked him to please read his bible. It would be amazing if We went back next year and he had gotten saved!


and there is SO Much More!!

All the girls and some of our group out in the Poorest village.

I have already written so much and I'm sorry if it sounds like rambling, but there is really so much! I have had the most humbling and blessed week! God is so good to his people and His Love endures FOREVER! AMEN!

My Best Friend's Wedding

One of the dearest friends God has ever graced me with got married yesterday at 4 p.m. to the man she has been waiting for. It was the most beautiful wedding I have been to...and believe me when I say I have been to a lot! Being a violinist I have played many weddings and about half of those I may not have known the people but I have discernment enough to know whether the couples really loved each other or not....When they did there was a radiance and joy that filled the whole room.

The Purity of yesterday's ceremony intoxicated the whole place....at least us girls ...or rather for me :) Every single one of us were practically weeping! Pure Love is the Best!!

There were 9 bridesmaids....we all represented (as another bridesmaid so beautifully put it) Stephanie's deposits all over Georgia, Alabama, and other states. Not all of us knew each other, but we all at least knew one other person. There was a sweet fellowship in the brides room before the wedding that only the Holy Spirit could have brought. I had a present for Steph......a song and after that we prayed over her.

I thought that the song I wrote was about me and for me, but I quickly realized it wasn't....and God showed me...it was for Stephanie. My plan had been to record it for her on my new macbook....lol...however I didn't exactly receive the computer in adequate time and so I presented it to her live in the room across the hall which fortunately had a piano in it. So I told her the story of the song and how I thought it was for me.... and then I sang it to her...She cried. I contained my emotions with only a few mess ups on the piano. It was a sweet time.

I love that woman of God so much.. Stephanie has always been the one to encourage me to keep writing songs. Always telling me how they had encouraged her and inspiring me to not give up on what God had put in my heart. I was so honored to be involved in her day! And I am so privileged to share in her Joy! Congratulations Stephanie and Josh Fleming....

Don't let me Settle

"Don't Let me Settle for someone who's second best
Don't Let me Settle for someone like all the rest
For I believe there is only One out there for me
And no one else will do so I will wait on You
I will wait on You."

 ~chorus to a song I wrote my freshman year in college

It's still my prayer. I'm learning to wait on the Lord. For He is faithful that promised.

To love Jesus more ....at any cost

"Lord, I give up all my own plans and purposes
All my own desires and hopes
And accept Thy will for my life.
I give myself, my life, my all
utterly to Thee to be Thine forever.
Fill me and Seal me with Thy Holy Spirit
Use me as Thou wilt,
Send me where Thou wilt,
Work out Thy whole will in my life,
At any cost, Now and Forever."

~Prayer of Betty Scott Stam~

I read a story yesterday in the book Quest for Love by Elisabeth Elliot. Betty Scott and John Stam gave their lives to the work of Christ so much so that even though they loved each other deeply they still said the work of the Lord first. She had gone ahead of him into Missions a year before he would be finished with school. He did not feel it right to ask for her hand and ask her to wait for him.God's work came first. So they both, knowing that they loved each other went their separate ways to fulfill the call of God on their lives...to take the Gospel to the Chinese people. Niether knew what God had in store for them with this love they had, but simply laid it down and continued the work God had given them to do. They were both Slaves to Christ and no one else.

In a year from this time, John graduated and got accepted into the China Inland Mission. Soon they were united and married . All in God's sovereign time. 11 months later they had a baby girl, Helen Priscilla Stam.

Betty wrote the above prayer years before John and Betty were married. Just 3 months after their daughter was born, and 14 months after they were married, they were Captured by Chinese Communists, walked through the village half naked, and beheaded for the Cause of Christ.

To Count it all as Loss

Today I had Starbucks with my friend Mallory...this is not an uncommon occurance. Mallory and I meet at least once a week for coffee. I am so thankful for a friend like Mallory.Her Quiet and Sweet Spirit inspires me and challenges my thinking. By being able to hear her journey as a believer she is constantly causing me to question my real motives for the ways that I think and the reasons I do what I do...Who is the center of my world? Me .........or Jesus? Who am I really seeking to please in the long run? I am very thankful for the true friend that I have in her.
 
Satan will do anything and everything to get my attention away from Christ. And he succeeds at this far too often. He wants my thoughts on myself or anyone who is not Christ. He would even take my "religious attempts" at doing something "good" for Jesus as long as my attention is really on myself and not truly on Jesus. Sometimes when the Lord gives me a revelation, I may boast in the fact that I got a revelation rather than being humbled by the Word of the Lord...How Selfish am I? :( Satan wants my life...He is after me! And Oh! How I live like he is not....this scares me....However, I will not stop fighting...I must become more aware. I need more wisdom. I think I'm some good person, but I'm not. I am a sinner and am constantly in need of my Savior! I need to Know Jesus More!

I want to truly count it all as loss compared to Knowing my God.

Florida Here I Come!!!

2 more days and I'm headed to Florida to see my family. I absolutely CANNOT wait to go!!!! I will get to see 3 of my big brothers and sister in laws and my nieces and nephews and good old friends from good ole Lake Wales, Florida.

Central Florida is probably one of my favorite places to be. I have so many memories there that I cherish...a little piece of my heart is there. One day I wouldn't mind living there.

This year is coming to a close...there are 7 weeks left of school and counting. Life is getting very busy for me with our end of the year Chorus performance coming up May 12. If you didn't know already, this is my first year teaching. I'm having fun being creative for this performance....making it how I want it and trying my best to make it how the Students want it as well... As far as I can tell the Students are enjoying what we are doing. It's an elective so It needs to be fun. And It's the last 2 periods of the day so it doesn't need to be boring....These poor students need a break to have some fun...I hope that's a little bit of what Chorus has been this year.  I have enjoyed it and I hope they have as well.

Next year I have the responsibility of Chorus and Drama.....I don't know how in the world I'm going to do that.....I guess we shall see.

But I am ready for Spring Break!!!!! I have a feeling that after next week, I won't want to come back to Georgia..........

"God is Always Good"

"When Life doesn't go the way I thought it should...Sometimes it's because God is Good.  And when plans fall apart though I never dreamed they would.. Sometimes it's because God is Good."

This is part of a song that is on John Waller's new album.  It's really been ministering to me and opening up my understanding to the reality that God truly is always good in every situation and in every season. Man makes plans in his heart, but the Lord directs his steps. All too often I complain all the way through the trials and tests that I go through, almost certain the Lord is upset with me or that the Lord has left me alone and I don't know why. I forget that it is in these times of testing the Lord says "Rejoice.....JUMP FOR JOY"....really, Lord? Jump for Joy? Is that really what you meant? Do you see what I'm going through? It hurts and I don't understand why you are putting me through this! How can I have any kind of Joy?  After listening to my faithless, untrusting thoughts for long enough the Lord is beginning to have grace on me...

I read the book of Job the other day. I started reading it because it was in my schedule to read the Bible in a year and I was behind...I was only going to Try to read a few chapters, but once I began, I couldn't put it down and ended up reading it all. God began to speak into my own faithlessness and doubt. God is Always Good. It's his nature. It's simply who He is. God knew that Job was blameless and innocent. In fact, God was the one who made Satan notice him. God was the one who allowed all that happened to Job to happen. Why? Because God is sovereign. Job kept complaining saying that He wanted to present his case to God. Job wanted to tell God that he had done no wrong, that he was not in sin and not deserving of all this. Job knew it was God's hand all along. This opened my eyes to myself.

I like to plan ahead. I have to have my planner or I don't know what is going on. If I lose my planner, I'm totally lost in this world....not really but almost. I like to figure things out too. I like to figure out situations and outcomes...especially my own. Recently, I had an experience in my life where the outcome was very different than I thought it would be because I thought that I had figured out what God was going to do. After all, I had been simply waiting and watching the Lord do what he was already doing, so in my mind I thought that  I knew what the outcome would be. As you have probably already figured out, the outcome was very different than where I thought the Lord would bring it.

I was not shaken. But I was confused a bit. I told the Lord, "I trusted You, And I watched you work. I saw Your hand. What did I do wrong? Was I really not trusting? Was I just wanting my way? But I know You were there. I don't understand why it went this way. Was I decieved? If I was, Oh how easily I was....But I trust you still I know you have a plan and purpose."

And the Lord said to me, "You did trust me, my daughter. And you are right. My hand was in it and I was working. However, Your ways are not mine. I am sovereign. Although there is pain in trials, don't you see that's right where I am...That's where I fellowship with you the most.That's where Your Joy comes from because that's where my Son is. I wanted to see if you really trust me. If you would take my hand and let Me lead you and walk beside you in those trials. Don't Give up. Keep trusting Me. I never left you once."

 All of the AWFUL things that happened to Job and yet God's hand was in it. God allowed it....For Job's growth. God is sovereign and always good!  Always! We don't understand everything He is doing in our lives. How can we? He's God and we aren't! It is in the valley where we are refined and where we meet with Jesus. Where He allows us to  fellowship and partake in His massive suffering.

It was in the hardest struggle of my life before my dad had his heart surgery a few months ago that I experienced REAL JOY that comes from the trial's of our faith (James 1).And these trials will never stop. We will never stay on the Mountain long. We are people of the valley. It's how we respond to them and Who we meet there that's important.  I'm so thankful that God chose me to be apart of His Mission!

Wherever You are in Your life...If you are on the Mountain, enjoy it while it lasts, but Don't expect to stay there. The valley is where we are refined...it's where we are made more like Christ Jesus. It's where we really experience and get to know who He is. Don't give up! He is with You! And He won't ever leave! I promise!

In all things, GOD IS ALWAYS GOOD!