Let Go.

It's rather difficult for me to keep up with this blog....simply because I don't always think about writing. Probably the same way I don't think about needing to sit down and write a song or other writings that I'm working on.

My life the past 2 months  (approx.) has been busy place. I'm not complaining, but my body is ....I have come down with a cold and am just not feeling up to par. I am taking time this weekend to rest and try to knock this sickness out of my body before I head up to ATL for the Passion Conference.

I went to Ga for Christmas. It was a blessed time spent with my closest friends, a few new ones, in ministry, and with my family. This is the first Christmas I have spent where I'm not living in my parents house. I had so much more quality time with family and friends this Christmas than I have ever had. It was simply wonderful! And being reunited with some family that I have not seen in a long while was the highlight of my vacation! God has been so gracious.

A little update on my job:

I am still just part time and gaining other income with playing gigs at church or in other ministry. The Lord is taking care of me here. I am going to need another Job during the summer though because my part time job as a teacher does not go for 12 months. The contract is over in May...therefore I'm looking for a job for the summer and Lord willing for next year as well. My heart's desire would be to be able to get a job at church where I would be more available for ministry and to work on writing. Over the past 6 months since being here the Lord has focused my heart and shown me more specifically where my passion is. He actually showed me last year at the passion conference, but has reminded me again in the past few months. I have such a passion for students (especially College age girls) and an even greater one for leading worship! So I am praying about a job. I know the Lord is going to take care of me and I must keep trusting him that he will take care of my needs. We shall see what His plan is.

I have to get my tag for my car very soon too! It's crazy how I may not have the money right now, but I am looking forward to see how the Lord provides it. He provides for all my needs!

I am learning to let go of the things I cannot control and just watch the Lord do what He wants. It's hard sometimes, but If we trust him with everything (even the little things) , we will be blown away by miracles every day! If we realize that our lives are not our own, and we were not put on this earth for ourselves, then we will trust him and we WILL see miracles and signs and wonders. It's not about us at all and how things are going in our lives each day. It's about Him and how we can be involved in the advancement of His Kingdom everyday. Let us get our eyes off of ourselves and onto the Lord. Let us fall madly in Love with our Savior King and follow Him with our lives. Let us obey Him because we are in Love with Him! Let us live holy because He is Holy and we adore Him! Let us trust Him because He is trustworthy!

I think that's all for now.

So today I moved out of my brothers apartment in Clermont and moved into an apartment/condo that I am renting from the girl who already lives there. She works in the missions Department at church and is a lover of Jesus. The timing of God is impeccable. It has been a smooth process and just in time.

This is the first time I am completely on my own. I'm so excited for what the Lord has planned for me. It's a crazy feeling at 24 that I'm out on my own. I don't have a clue what will happen next and that's okay :)
My God has me!
I am so thankful!

He has surrounded me with the most AMAZING friends!!!

Name them One by One :)

 I am thankful for:

1. My Jesus. He is everything to me! He is the reason I sing, the reason I breathe, the reason I never give up. He is my King, the one I am surrendered to. He is my best friend and my truest Love! No one could ever take His love away from me!!! I am So In love with HIM!

2. My Father God. He never leaves me and I have the privilege of being in His presence all day every day. He is continually with me! He is the Faithful One. He is Beauty!

3. The Holy Spirit of Jesus that is alive in me. He is giving me Power daily to live a life Pleasing to the Father! He is such a mystery and AMAZING! I am thankful for His Anointing on my life. Without God I would be nothing!

4. My family...My father who helped me receive the gift music at a young age.
                       My Mother who is such an example of faithfulness and submission.
                       My 4 brothers who have always been supportive of me and my dreams
                       My 4 sister-in-laws who are more like sisters than in laws. They are always there for me!
                       My nieces and nephews. I love each and everyone of you and know that God has
                       GREAT plans for each of you!!! Walk close with HIM! <3

5. My Lagrange family that has been so instrumental in my growth as a musician and woman.....
    Dr. Anderson, Mrs. Ogle, the Cipolla family, LCS family, Mrs. Wanda, Mrs. Caroline, Mrs. Daniel,
    Coach Gomez, The brown family, Angelina, Jenna, Jossy, Peyton, Allie, Hannah (the original swah          girls :) I will always keep you dear to my heart)...My best friends Mallory Hicks and Katie Holdredge! I don't know what I would have done if I didn't have you beautiful women of God in my life!!! I have learned so much from you both!
   Pastor Richard and the Gathering Church- thank you for believing in the Spirit of God in me!

6. My Orlando family. How beautifully God Orchestrated us to come together....You are my family! :)
    Jeannie Albers, Kai Honeck, Patrick Taylor, - You guys are Awesome and You know I love you!!!
    FULLY ALIVE- God couldn't have sent me better friends! <3
    Mrs Libby- What a great Godly example you are to me. I am so blessed by you everyday! Thank you.
    Angie Elkins- I hope I'm a great mom and wife just like you one day! Thank you for your friendship
    Jon Marx, George Livings- thank you for your encouragement and investment in my life and giving
     me opportunities to minister.
    Jeff and Raquel- You both are amazing and I hope we are friends forever! Thank you for being my
    brother and sister
   
There are countless others that God is giving me chances to get closer to. I am so thankful God has brought you all into my life. You all are a blessing to me!! :)

I could write so much more LOL

Happy Thanksgiving!!! :)


 
   
 

These are the days of Thanksgiving....

Inspired by my friend/sister Jenna Brown's blog :)

Today I am thankful for:

1. the friends who I KNOW are praying for me.

2. Four Corners Community Group

3. Families that make me feel at home

4. Mallory Hicks and Katie Holdredge :)

5. 4th grade violin students who are making me age quicker lol

6. My Creative/Talented/Imaginative/Amazing Friends who make me smile and feel loved every day :D

7. the fact that as believers fear cannot stay in us.

8. having lived here in Florida for 4 months and counting :)

9. restoration 

10. the lengthy healing process of a heart. Beauty from ashes <3

Ten more to come another day! :)

mind blown again and again...

My mind is being blown these days at the slightest thing......AND IT'S AWESOME lol

The things that are blowing me away are:
1. The Sunsets here in Florida....every day different, new, and beautifully breathtaking
2. new friendships...worshipping, praying, living in the presence of God together.
3. undeserved favor :)

But, specifically I wanted to share a verse that has been really messing me up in a good way....
John 17:3
              "And this is eternal life, that they know you the only true God, and Jesus Christ
                whom You have sent."

Just read that a couple times...............

we were created to Know Him............

Our Purpose is to bring Glory to God..........

"God is most Glorified in us when we are most Satisfied in HIM"- John Piper

Our God is unsearchable...........

We get to live the rest of Forever getting to know Him more!!!!!! FOREVER!!!! He loves me!!!!
We get to have an on going, never ending revelation of Who God is hahaha :)

Whatever you are focusing on today.......Stop......and focus on His Loving Presence that is with You today! HE LOVES YOU!

it's hard for me to start out a blog....

I don't really know where to begin. I'm in a healing process. My heart is being conformed more to his likeness and I'm thankful. I'm thankful for the Godly people his putting in my life. Like Mrs. Libby. She is a 75 year old woman who looks just like Jesus to me. Her heart is so beautiful and she is spending a lot of time to pour into my life. She prays for me, with me and helps me understand where my heart is at. She constantly points me to the feet of Jesus. 

God is blessing me beyond my imaginations. I have had many opportunities to use the musical gifts he has given me...I have not had to seek out anything since I have been here..Seriously. God has taken care of me and is blessing me for my obedience to him. That's really all he wants anyway, ya know? Our obedience. 

God is beginning to move in the area of my personal songs as well. I have been waiting the right opportunity to record (several have opened, but not one that i have had peace about) and it looks like he has opened a door. A friend of a friend wants to do it for free....I can't believe it. 

I am learning to just rest and watch God work. He will accomplish His Will in His own way in His own time. He just asks us to wait for him and while we are waiting on Him to do His thing get to know His voice so that when He speaks we hear him clearly and obey. He is in control of ALL and we are in control of NOTHING. He wants our Obedience and our Surrender. He is so faithful and loving and kind. I'm more in Love with HIM now than ever before.  He Loves Me and I want the world to know that I LOVE HIM.

That's all for now.... :)

God is faithful

I'm very excited to have found a job...rather it found me. God has provided a part time teaching position at a Christian School that will allow me time to focus on the things he has called me to do in the ministry as it relates to music.

I will be teaching at Trinity Christian School in Apopka, FL. They are Early Learning Center through 8th Grade. I will be teaching the string classes. I'm thankful to the Lord for this job.

Embracing Change

Tomorrow is the first day of school for LCS (Lafayette Christian School). A month ago I would have been getting ready for the new school year. I would have been decorating my classroom, organizing music, going back and forth from my room to the office to rest my elbows on the office window sill to hang out with Mrs. Caroline and Mrs. Wanda. Tonight I would have been at the Open House hugging students and more than likely being mistaken for a student while signing up kids for chorus and drama.

Instead tonight I sit in my brother's apartment in Clermont, Florida. We just watched a movie and everyone is now having some time by themselves. My sister-in-law Rebecca is upstairs working on her computer, my brother Joel has gone to bed because he has to get up early for work, and my niece Madison is already asleep as well...I am here typing this for you. In my last post I asked for prayer on some decisions that I felt I was about to have to make. I was right. As soon as I came down to Florida the Lord began to really speak to me. He had already been leading me for some time, but I kept denying it in myself because of my circumstances. God allowed a series of events to happen to challenge my faith the past month or so.When I arrived in Florida He began speaking clearly through the Word of God, in my prayer time, and in the Sermons I heard. Jesus was calling me to follow Him.

It's what I had been wanting for 2 years: an adventure in following Jesus. All of the sudden there were no questions anymore about what He wanted me to do. I had to leave everything back in GA. This meant I had to leave everything that I was committed to, everything that I had accomplished there, everyone that I loved, all my friends, my position at my church, my students, two of my brothers and their families, and my parents. I fought with doubt and fear that God was really telling me to do this.  I didn't want people to look at me different or think I was irresponsible. What WERE people going to think about this?? And at such SHORT notice. I fought in my spirit with this decision. I prayed and prayed and had people praying that I was making the right decision. I was so afraid to make the wrong decision and to displease the Lord.

But how silly is this. We are not supposed to live for the approval of man, but the approval of God. My heavenly Father knew my heart. He knew that all I wanted with All my heart was to follow Him. I wanted to OBEY. I was doing my best to seek wise counsel and handle this transition responsibly and spiritually. It was a scary few weeks, but I wasn't afraid of just anything. My fear of man was gradually replaced by the fear of the Lord. As I became weak and humble before the Lord, He began to give me confidence and faith. I started to actually FEEL strong. As I sought the Lord and laid my weak heart before Him, he picked it up and gave me the strength to do what He asked of me. The easiest decisions are not always the right ones.

Now I am in Clermont, serving at FBC Orlando as much as possible. God has opened up so many doors so far for me to use my gifts and learn from others in the body of Christ. I desire to pour my life into people, and sing my heart out over the people here until my heavenly Father takes me to the next place he has for me to go. Right now I am looking for a job to pay the bills and I trust that He has the best job for me....It's scary because I have never been on my own without my parents. I am thankful for my brother Joel and his family opening up their home to me. I am thankful for the support of my family and friends. I believe the Lord has specific things for me to do while I am here! I am learning to REALLY trust God and I believe that He is truly ALL I NEED.

My God performed miracles for me the minute I stepped out on faith and committed fully to follow him. LITERALLY! I glorify His name because He is worthy. I love Him and am so thankful for the Love that He continually pours on me.

Sunshine, Summertime, and Some stuff on my mind....

I have arrived in Clermont, Florida to stay for an extended visit with my youngest older brother Joel and his family............ :) I am praying that this is going to be a month of refreshing, healing, and restoration for me. I also pray that this time would be a time of intentional mission towards my niece Madison. She is 9 and is basically my mini-me in a lot of ways.

This past week has been a challenging one. Seems I have much on my mind to pray about and a few decisions that I will have to be making sooner than later....some just later. However, I trust that my Heavenly Father will lead me because His Spirit is inside of me. I feel as though I am in a time of preparation. I would covet your prayers as I pray for God's direction. I want with all my heart to Obey and Submit to His Will and not my own.

Betty's Prayer: a new song

a new song.... based on the story i posted a little while back about Betty Scott Stam.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rDU-K4c93fg

Poor in Spirit: My Perspective of Honduras

Wow! Where do I even begin?


This past week was my first experience on an overseas Mission trip....I have been overseas before on 2 choir tours for college, but never for missions. It was the most amazing trip that I have ever been on....


A few months ago I began getting really uncomfortable in my spirit. I was uncomfortable being comfortable! I was so tired of being in my comfort zone. I wanted to go on an adventure with the Lord. I was tired of business as usual at my job, at home, everywhere. Recently before this trip this feeling intensified to the point that when we got down there to Honduras to the poorest places and the orphanages I was so comfortable being there with them. I could have stayed there, and I can't wait to go back.


When the opportunity first came up about this school mission trip to Honduras, I immediately was interested. I went to an information meeting about it and came home to tell my parents about it. They were not as interested in the thought of going as I was. In fact they were very against me going... mostly for safety reasons. There was no arguing with them so I dropped it and tried to accept it as the Lord's will and just honor them. About a month later I went to the Passion Conference in Atlanta. One night while I was there they were showing a video about them taking the Conference to other countries. One minute I was enjoying the video, the next the Lord spoke to me and I knew I was supposed to go to Honduras. I had to go.....So I brought it back up to my parents who were still very opposed. I told them the Lord had spoken to me and I knew I was supposed to go. I asked them to pray about it and then I just left it in the Lord's hands. I never doubted from that moment on that I was supposed to go. And God was faithful! He changed both my parents hearts about me going. I didn't have to press them. God used other means to convince them by his own Power. Others knew I was supposed to go too and prayed to such ends! It was amazing how God orchestrated this trip! My parents were still very nervous for me to go and had a difficult time trusting the Lord about me, but they are learning and I am very thankful for them listening to the Lord. It's hard for them me being the baby of the family and the only girl...but they Love the Lord and they love me! :) But the Lord loves me more!


After many fundraisers and much prayer we departed from Atlanta last friday. I'm not even sure where to begin. There is a family connection that our group has through our Leader, Mrs. Wanda Peterson. Several years ago Mrs. Wanda's daughter , Amanda (who is my age) sent a letter in her shoebox through the Operation Christmas Child ministry. The Girl who got her box wrote Amanda back and since then the relationships between Mrs. Wanda and the Girl's family have been built. The Girl's name is Suellen and the first night we were in Honduras Suellen got married. They planned it so that Mami Wanda (as they lovingly call her) could be there. The Love that Suellen's whole family has for Mrs. Wanda was so precious! And throughout the week we got the chance to get to know the WHOLE family. Suellen and her little girl Ellie, Suellen's sister Danny and Her family :), and other cousins....they saw us all as family! It made the trip ten times more Real! By the end of the trip we were all crying hating to see each other go.

The girls at Alpha & Omega Singing for us

The 2nd day we went to an orphanage called ALPHA & OMEGA. This was my favorite place that we went. The Orphanage is supported by Samaritan's purse. They give chickens, pigs, and other animals and help them learn how to take care of them. The orphanage has a church and a school also. The church started out as just the orphans and then the community surrounding them started hearing the music and would ask if they could come and now there are about 200 people who come to the church. What was so amazing to me about this orphanage was that the house parents who run it are teaching the orphans to reach out to their community. The older girls in the house go into the poorest villages and minister and invite people to church. While we were here, the older girls (ages 13-17) performed songs for us. A few played guitar and the rest sang. It was so precious! After they sang for us, we sang and danced for them.
They are familiar with the Revelation Song in Honduras so we sang that.

The girls and I and Angelina in the church at Alpha & Omega

After this we had a time to play with the kids doing face paint, fingernail painting, soccer, and other games, but the older girls grabbed me and asked me to sing for them. They grabbed a guitar and handed it to me and we all sat around on the steps and sang in English and in Spanish. We sang Hymns and New songs. They even gave me an English piece that I didn't know and made me sight read it :) That was fun! They taught me "Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus" in Spanish and made me practice it and practice it until I got it right. We did this for about an hour and then when they found out I played the piano they took me to the church and plugged up the keyboard and we sang some more. I then told them that I write songs and I played "The Waiting" for them. They loved it in English, but when I and another from our Mission Group tag-teamed to try to explain to them what it meant and they actually understood they Loved it even more! :) That made me so happy to know that one of the songs the Lord has given me for young girls may have the possibility of impacting a girl there!! These girls became very very close to my heart and are now my sisters! After we had time to play with them, they took us to the poorest village in the city which was interestingly called "Glory of God". We went with the older girls to pass out candy to the children and talk to the families. This community little by little is being converted to Christianity. After all of this is when we had to say our goodbyes.... It was not too too hard for me there because something in my heart told me I would see them again. The ride back to the hotel was what was hard for me realizing that I wasn't the one who was ministering to them that day.... JESUS was the one ministering to US.


The People in Honduras have next to nothing materially compared to us, but they seem to understand the Love of God way more than we do.  Matthew 5:3 says,


      "Blessed are the Poor in Spirit, for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven."

Merci, Me, and Tanya- these girls seemed
to be the leaders of the group. Love them! :)

Talk about being Poor in Spirit.  Something I learned this week is that they are way more blessed than us. We may be blessed with material wealth, but the Beattitudes don't say anything about "blessed are the materially wealthy people"...... in fact it's hard for the rich to enter the kingdom. These people don't have a lot of material possessions, but they have what they need because the Father provides it and they acknowledge it is from Him and have faith that he will continue to provide for them, and then they have each other! The girls would hold our hands and hug us continually and walk with us arm in arm everywhere we went! They have so much Love that is flowing out of the abundance of their hearts because they realize how much they are loved by God the Father! The house dad told us that the children never fight and always get along. They watch over one another and are being trained to take care of one another. It was amazing to watch them all love each other and love us!  Jesus is everything to them!


There were other orphanages we went too such as the churches orphanage and Our little roses, but ALPHA & OMEGA had the most impact on my heart! I didn't know how much Spanish I actually knew, but I was able to communicate with the children and we understood each other. I just jumped in right away trying to speak Spanish! It was so fun to try and to watch the Lord God fill in the gaps :) He did this for me all week. Coach Gomez, who is fluent and from Cuba, told me that I know more than I have been letting on, but I lack confidence. I told him I didn't know how much I knew. The Lord helped me and I wasn't afraid to try to communicate with them! :)


We had so many great experiences:

Mrs. Daniel gave me some puppets to use with the children!
Hannah, Angelina, and Bethany helped me show them off :)
I used the cow and called her Rosalita la Vaca (Rosalita the Cow)
They were very helpful with the children! Thanks Mrs. Daniel

 Ministering in Song and dance for La Cosecha Church- we thought there were supposed to be 3,000 people, but there were actually 7,000 Hondurans there!!!! WOW! The Spirit of God was there and I didn't even notice there were so many people.


Ministering in song and dance for La Cosecha School- thought there were 300 there but there were approximately 1,000 students there.


Ministering at a back yard bible club at Danny's house- Danny is Suellen's sister and we ministered to the kids in her village in her back yard and cooked them spaghetti


Painting a house for the girls in the Orphanages transitional home- These girls are young women who choose to stay involved and apart of the orphanage after they are too old to live in the home. If they want to stay the orphanage provides a house for them as long as they work and are continuing studying. It is for them to be able to learn to live on their own.


Hiking to the Coca Cola Sign which is like the Hollywood sign haha


Getting corn rows lol :) done from a Honduran lady at her home and getting to minister to her family while we were there :)


Witnessing to our busdriver- The whole week our translator, who is the assistant headmaster at our school, was witnessing to him and the men at Samaritan's purse were also. When he dropped us at the airport yesterday, the Lord led me to go tell him he Needed Jesus Christ in His heart and I asked him to please read his bible. It would be amazing if We went back next year and he had gotten saved!


and there is SO Much More!!

All the girls and some of our group out in the Poorest village.

I have already written so much and I'm sorry if it sounds like rambling, but there is really so much! I have had the most humbling and blessed week! God is so good to his people and His Love endures FOREVER! AMEN!

My Best Friend's Wedding

One of the dearest friends God has ever graced me with got married yesterday at 4 p.m. to the man she has been waiting for. It was the most beautiful wedding I have been to...and believe me when I say I have been to a lot! Being a violinist I have played many weddings and about half of those I may not have known the people but I have discernment enough to know whether the couples really loved each other or not....When they did there was a radiance and joy that filled the whole room.

The Purity of yesterday's ceremony intoxicated the whole place....at least us girls ...or rather for me :) Every single one of us were practically weeping! Pure Love is the Best!!

There were 9 bridesmaids....we all represented (as another bridesmaid so beautifully put it) Stephanie's deposits all over Georgia, Alabama, and other states. Not all of us knew each other, but we all at least knew one other person. There was a sweet fellowship in the brides room before the wedding that only the Holy Spirit could have brought. I had a present for Steph......a song and after that we prayed over her.

I thought that the song I wrote was about me and for me, but I quickly realized it wasn't....and God showed me...it was for Stephanie. My plan had been to record it for her on my new macbook....lol...however I didn't exactly receive the computer in adequate time and so I presented it to her live in the room across the hall which fortunately had a piano in it. So I told her the story of the song and how I thought it was for me.... and then I sang it to her...She cried. I contained my emotions with only a few mess ups on the piano. It was a sweet time.

I love that woman of God so much.. Stephanie has always been the one to encourage me to keep writing songs. Always telling me how they had encouraged her and inspiring me to not give up on what God had put in my heart. I was so honored to be involved in her day! And I am so privileged to share in her Joy! Congratulations Stephanie and Josh Fleming....

Don't let me Settle

"Don't Let me Settle for someone who's second best
Don't Let me Settle for someone like all the rest
For I believe there is only One out there for me
And no one else will do so I will wait on You
I will wait on You."

 ~chorus to a song I wrote my freshman year in college

It's still my prayer. I'm learning to wait on the Lord. For He is faithful that promised.

To love Jesus more ....at any cost

"Lord, I give up all my own plans and purposes
All my own desires and hopes
And accept Thy will for my life.
I give myself, my life, my all
utterly to Thee to be Thine forever.
Fill me and Seal me with Thy Holy Spirit
Use me as Thou wilt,
Send me where Thou wilt,
Work out Thy whole will in my life,
At any cost, Now and Forever."

~Prayer of Betty Scott Stam~

I read a story yesterday in the book Quest for Love by Elisabeth Elliot. Betty Scott and John Stam gave their lives to the work of Christ so much so that even though they loved each other deeply they still said the work of the Lord first. She had gone ahead of him into Missions a year before he would be finished with school. He did not feel it right to ask for her hand and ask her to wait for him.God's work came first. So they both, knowing that they loved each other went their separate ways to fulfill the call of God on their lives...to take the Gospel to the Chinese people. Niether knew what God had in store for them with this love they had, but simply laid it down and continued the work God had given them to do. They were both Slaves to Christ and no one else.

In a year from this time, John graduated and got accepted into the China Inland Mission. Soon they were united and married . All in God's sovereign time. 11 months later they had a baby girl, Helen Priscilla Stam.

Betty wrote the above prayer years before John and Betty were married. Just 3 months after their daughter was born, and 14 months after they were married, they were Captured by Chinese Communists, walked through the village half naked, and beheaded for the Cause of Christ.

To Count it all as Loss

Today I had Starbucks with my friend Mallory...this is not an uncommon occurance. Mallory and I meet at least once a week for coffee. I am so thankful for a friend like Mallory.Her Quiet and Sweet Spirit inspires me and challenges my thinking. By being able to hear her journey as a believer she is constantly causing me to question my real motives for the ways that I think and the reasons I do what I do...Who is the center of my world? Me .........or Jesus? Who am I really seeking to please in the long run? I am very thankful for the true friend that I have in her.
 
Satan will do anything and everything to get my attention away from Christ. And he succeeds at this far too often. He wants my thoughts on myself or anyone who is not Christ. He would even take my "religious attempts" at doing something "good" for Jesus as long as my attention is really on myself and not truly on Jesus. Sometimes when the Lord gives me a revelation, I may boast in the fact that I got a revelation rather than being humbled by the Word of the Lord...How Selfish am I? :( Satan wants my life...He is after me! And Oh! How I live like he is not....this scares me....However, I will not stop fighting...I must become more aware. I need more wisdom. I think I'm some good person, but I'm not. I am a sinner and am constantly in need of my Savior! I need to Know Jesus More!

I want to truly count it all as loss compared to Knowing my God.

Florida Here I Come!!!

2 more days and I'm headed to Florida to see my family. I absolutely CANNOT wait to go!!!! I will get to see 3 of my big brothers and sister in laws and my nieces and nephews and good old friends from good ole Lake Wales, Florida.

Central Florida is probably one of my favorite places to be. I have so many memories there that I cherish...a little piece of my heart is there. One day I wouldn't mind living there.

This year is coming to a close...there are 7 weeks left of school and counting. Life is getting very busy for me with our end of the year Chorus performance coming up May 12. If you didn't know already, this is my first year teaching. I'm having fun being creative for this performance....making it how I want it and trying my best to make it how the Students want it as well... As far as I can tell the Students are enjoying what we are doing. It's an elective so It needs to be fun. And It's the last 2 periods of the day so it doesn't need to be boring....These poor students need a break to have some fun...I hope that's a little bit of what Chorus has been this year.  I have enjoyed it and I hope they have as well.

Next year I have the responsibility of Chorus and Drama.....I don't know how in the world I'm going to do that.....I guess we shall see.

But I am ready for Spring Break!!!!! I have a feeling that after next week, I won't want to come back to Georgia..........

"God is Always Good"

"When Life doesn't go the way I thought it should...Sometimes it's because God is Good.  And when plans fall apart though I never dreamed they would.. Sometimes it's because God is Good."

This is part of a song that is on John Waller's new album.  It's really been ministering to me and opening up my understanding to the reality that God truly is always good in every situation and in every season. Man makes plans in his heart, but the Lord directs his steps. All too often I complain all the way through the trials and tests that I go through, almost certain the Lord is upset with me or that the Lord has left me alone and I don't know why. I forget that it is in these times of testing the Lord says "Rejoice.....JUMP FOR JOY"....really, Lord? Jump for Joy? Is that really what you meant? Do you see what I'm going through? It hurts and I don't understand why you are putting me through this! How can I have any kind of Joy?  After listening to my faithless, untrusting thoughts for long enough the Lord is beginning to have grace on me...

I read the book of Job the other day. I started reading it because it was in my schedule to read the Bible in a year and I was behind...I was only going to Try to read a few chapters, but once I began, I couldn't put it down and ended up reading it all. God began to speak into my own faithlessness and doubt. God is Always Good. It's his nature. It's simply who He is. God knew that Job was blameless and innocent. In fact, God was the one who made Satan notice him. God was the one who allowed all that happened to Job to happen. Why? Because God is sovereign. Job kept complaining saying that He wanted to present his case to God. Job wanted to tell God that he had done no wrong, that he was not in sin and not deserving of all this. Job knew it was God's hand all along. This opened my eyes to myself.

I like to plan ahead. I have to have my planner or I don't know what is going on. If I lose my planner, I'm totally lost in this world....not really but almost. I like to figure things out too. I like to figure out situations and outcomes...especially my own. Recently, I had an experience in my life where the outcome was very different than I thought it would be because I thought that I had figured out what God was going to do. After all, I had been simply waiting and watching the Lord do what he was already doing, so in my mind I thought that  I knew what the outcome would be. As you have probably already figured out, the outcome was very different than where I thought the Lord would bring it.

I was not shaken. But I was confused a bit. I told the Lord, "I trusted You, And I watched you work. I saw Your hand. What did I do wrong? Was I really not trusting? Was I just wanting my way? But I know You were there. I don't understand why it went this way. Was I decieved? If I was, Oh how easily I was....But I trust you still I know you have a plan and purpose."

And the Lord said to me, "You did trust me, my daughter. And you are right. My hand was in it and I was working. However, Your ways are not mine. I am sovereign. Although there is pain in trials, don't you see that's right where I am...That's where I fellowship with you the most.That's where Your Joy comes from because that's where my Son is. I wanted to see if you really trust me. If you would take my hand and let Me lead you and walk beside you in those trials. Don't Give up. Keep trusting Me. I never left you once."

 All of the AWFUL things that happened to Job and yet God's hand was in it. God allowed it....For Job's growth. God is sovereign and always good!  Always! We don't understand everything He is doing in our lives. How can we? He's God and we aren't! It is in the valley where we are refined and where we meet with Jesus. Where He allows us to  fellowship and partake in His massive suffering.

It was in the hardest struggle of my life before my dad had his heart surgery a few months ago that I experienced REAL JOY that comes from the trial's of our faith (James 1).And these trials will never stop. We will never stay on the Mountain long. We are people of the valley. It's how we respond to them and Who we meet there that's important.  I'm so thankful that God chose me to be apart of His Mission!

Wherever You are in Your life...If you are on the Mountain, enjoy it while it lasts, but Don't expect to stay there. The valley is where we are refined...it's where we are made more like Christ Jesus. It's where we really experience and get to know who He is. Don't give up! He is with You! And He won't ever leave! I promise!

In all things, GOD IS ALWAYS GOOD!

Love Is Waiting

 This song speaks volumes to me....I get 2 different yet similar meanings from the words "Love is Waiting". The first being that I am "saving" my love to give to whoever it is that God has intended me to be with. The second is that Waiting is a definition of love. I am showing my future husband that I love him by my Waiting.That's what love does...It Waits. I have listened to this song a hundred times over the last few years. It is still ministering to me and encouraging me.

Let none that wait on the Lord ever be put to shame.

This is where I am... <3 Sharon

p.s. I highlighted my favorite lines. She is such a brilliant writer.


Here are the Lyrics:

In the autumn on the ground, between the traffic and the ordinary sounds
I am thinking signs and seasons while a north wind blows through
i watch as lovers pass me by
Walking stories - whos and hows and whys
Musing lazily on love
Pondering you
I'll give it time, give it space and be still for a spell
When it's time to walk that way we wana walk it well

[CHORUS]
I'll be waiting for you baby
I'll be holding back the darkest night
Love is waiting til we're ready, til it's right
Love is waiting

It's my caution not the cold
there's no other hand that i would rather hold
the climate changes, im singing for the strangers about you
dont keep time, slow the pace
Honey hold on if you can
the bets are getting surer now that you're my man

I could right a million songs about the way you say my name
I could live a lifetime with you and then do it all again
and like I can't force the sun to rise or hasten summer's start,
neither should I rush my way into your heart

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4bTjDace9nY&feature=related

Called to the Nations

In the Summer, I will be going on my first mission trip. I, along with Staff and Juniors and Seniors at Lafayette Christian School, will be traveling to the country of Honduras. I am very excited. God made the way for me to go on this trip and I believe he has a special purpose in store for me...

I feel like It will be the beginning of my adult ministry to the nations. God has called me to be a worship leader. He has gifted me with an anointing that only He can give and that humbles me every time I open my mouth to sing. I know that my voice has been given to me by God to be used for HIS GLORY ALONE. My one desire is to sing TO Him and FOR Him for as long as I live. I believe that part of God's plan for me is serving with a worship team to impact this generation and the next and traveling to wherever God may lead to spread the gospel.

I am coming to an understanding now that the dreams that God has placed in my heart that simply seem impossible, are the ones that I need to not be afraid to go after anymore. After all, God put them there. They aren't silly! They are divinely possible!! I have surrendered all control of my life to him...I work at this everyday. My prayer is that He will have His way! All I desire is to Please Him!

So as I go to Honduras in the summer, I ask that God would give me more of an understanding of what He has called me to do. I will be leading spanish worship songs at a church. I am so excited!! Im my heart I really don't believe this is just another mission trip. I'm looking for the Lord to change me...and He already is! Other ways we will be serving are in an orphanage, teaching english in a school, and cooking food for a village. I am so thankful that God has made the way for me to go! I can't wait!

Help Me See..

Have you ever thought you knew for sure what God was doing and wanted to happen in your life? It seemed so clear because You weren't doing anything and that He was making it all happen? All you were doing was waiting on Him and pleading for him to have his way and as you waited you saw prayers answered right before your very eyes? The posture of your heart was one of surrender and submission? All you wanted was for him to be pleased and knew for sure that he was blessing you for your obedience in waiting on him and letting him work?

I am finding that when It seems like I think I know what God is doing, I need to take a step back and make sure my expectations are not on what I know, but just simply on ...God Himself. Every time I start to feel like I understand, God throws in another variable to my life that makes me question what He is doing....because I thought I had finally figured it out.

But His ways are not my ways. And His thoughts certainly are not mine. But they are being conformed to his little by little, day by day. I need so much more wisdom and understanding of Who he is. Our God is unsearchable and to quote a song by Misty Edwards, "I will waste my life. I'll be tested and tried with no regrets inside of me just to find I'm at Your Feet."

Here is song I wrote a few days ago that these thoughts inspired:

Help Me

Verse 1:
In the midst of this rollercoaster
How can I believe
That you are in Control
And that you’ll never leave
Because I feel that you have left me
Left me all alone
My heart feels so far from you
I can’t stand this anymore

Verse 2:
This test  just seems too hard to bear
How can this be your plan
This all just seems so unfair
How can I understand
But somewhere deep in my heart
I know that you are there
Causing me to want you
And to cry out in deperate prayer

Chorus:
Help me to see through your eyes
Save me from the lies
Oh Help me to understand
Help me to hear with your ears
Cast out all my fear
Oh Take me in Your hands

Bridge:
Your ways are Higher than mine
Your thoughts are so unlike mine
You are God eternal
 Lord Immortal
You are everything
More than all I need

Speaking the Truth in Love: some food for thought

So tonight I heard a sermon on some verses in Ephesians 4... The context is the Unity of the church.

In verse 14 Paul is telling the people that we are no longer to act like children in our faith being tossed to and fro being carried away by false doctrine...He goes on in verse 15 to say that we are to always confront these lies and speak the truth in love : "But speaking the truth in Love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ." KJV

I looked up the words Speaking in truth in the Lexicon in the back of my Bible. 

•   not only referring to speaking the truth but referring to presenting an action as truth and not counterfeit.

I looked up the word Love:

• Benevolent Love, however, it's benevolence, is not shown by doing what the person loved desires, but what the one who loves deems as needed by the loved one.

I am still studying... goodnight

Songwriting

I have picked back up with my songwriting...I am really enjoying it. I used to wait for inspiration to write a song, but a friend of mine who is a songwriter for a living shared with me that it is best to use your tool regularly and write as many songs as you can as often as you can. I am not much of a writer...God helps me alot :), but I do enjoy songwriting. I am going to work diligently with the time God has given me and hopefully prepare myself for what God has planned for me in the future.

You're Worth It!!!

 This is back from a Couple years ago, but I still need to speak this over my heart. I constantly need the Lord to remind me of my worth. Deep in my heart I sometimes still feel not good enough, not worth it, and not beautiful. When the Lord tries to bless me with Supernatural Blessings (you know, the ones that only could have been the Lord because they are so amazing), I tell myself I don't deserve them, that I don't believe they are real because they are so amazing....This in turn hinders me from receiving them. At first I thought I was being humble, But I realize now that all this is is a False Humility and Self Deprecation. I am unable to receive and believe in a miracle cause of False Humility...How sad. But the Lord is Gracious! Lord, Change my heart and remind me who I am in You and Allow me to believe in and receive your Supernatural Blessings!

Here is my old blog:

Prov. 31:10 says,
"Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies."

This is a well known verse and i honestly have never understood it. I had never seen it before now, but it says her PRICE is far above rubies. I mean i have read this verse a million times, but i have not understood this until now. I have been asking the Lord what it means to be a woman of virtue. This is a little bit of what he has revealed to me:

A virtuous woman realizes that she is worth So Much and that her heart belongs to Jesus and she must guard it above all things (Prov 4).
God designed a woman to want to be pursued and He designed the Man to want to do the pursuing. When we get these out of order, things get messy, confusing, and painful for both genders.
A virtuous woman does not give her heart away.We women are eager to be submissive, to be loved, to be cared about, to be chased after. This comes with a price. Women we MUST WAIT! There is no getting around it.If they want us they WILL pursue us. When we don't wait, it just causes confusion.Now im not saying that you can't be friends and all that. But if you like the guy and he's not doing anything about it and you decide you are going to help him out and make the first move....DON"T DO IT! When we don't wait, the guys are not able to chase us.We go ahead and give them parts of our heart expecting them to know what to do with it when they haven't worked for it...then we wonder what is wrong, why they don't pursue us. Well...if we have already given them our heart , there is nothing for them to chase after!

We have to understand that , as a woman, we come with a price! And it's more costly than rubies!! You are not worthless! You are worth everything to God! It's a picture of Christ and his Bride the church. HE gave everything for you! So be who you are called to be: A VIRTUOUS WOMAN. God wants to bless you beyond your wildest imaginations if you'll only WAIT! Then the men can truly be men and pursue us.

Our responsibility is to guard our heart until the right man comes along who will WORK ...to get the MONEY.....to pay the PRICE .....for Us!! Because A woman after GOD's Heart is WORTH IT!


"And though the hardest part is THE WAITING in the end it mean everything to be presented pure and blameless to HIM." - from The Waiting

first time blogger

Soo....I have thought about starting a blog for a long time. I have always wanted to, but never thought that I would keep up with it or even have anything to say worth being read by others. However I have decided to give it a chance. We shall see what happens...