Have you ever thought you knew for sure what God was doing and wanted to happen in your life? It seemed so clear because You weren't doing anything and that He was making it all happen? All you were doing was waiting on Him and pleading for him to have his way and as you waited you saw prayers answered right before your very eyes? The posture of your heart was one of surrender and submission? All you wanted was for him to be pleased and knew for sure that he was blessing you for your obedience in waiting on him and letting him work?
I am finding that when It seems like I think I know what God is doing, I need to take a step back and make sure my expectations are not on what I know, but just simply on ...God Himself. Every time I start to feel like I understand, God throws in another variable to my life that makes me question what He is doing....because I thought I had finally figured it out.
But His ways are not my ways. And His thoughts certainly are not mine. But they are being conformed to his little by little, day by day. I need so much more wisdom and understanding of Who he is. Our God is unsearchable and to quote a song by Misty Edwards, "I will waste my life. I'll be tested and tried with no regrets inside of me just to find I'm at Your Feet."
Here is song I wrote a few days ago that these thoughts inspired:
Help Me
Verse 1:
In the midst of this rollercoaster
How can I believe
That you are in Control
And that you’ll never leave
Because I feel that you have left me
Left me all alone
My heart feels so far from you
I can’t stand this anymore
Verse 2:
This test just seems too hard to bear
How can this be your plan
This all just seems so unfair
How can I understand
But somewhere deep in my heart
I know that you are there
Causing me to want you
And to cry out in deperate prayer
Chorus:
Help me to see through your eyes
Save me from the lies
Oh Help me to understand
Help me to hear with your ears
Cast out all my fear
Oh Take me in Your hands
Bridge:
Your ways are Higher than mine
Your thoughts are so unlike mine
You are God eternal
Lord Immortal
You are everything
More than all I need
Thank you for sharing this, Sharon.
ReplyDeleteAnd that is why we are called to lean on HIM, because our own understanding isn't enough.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your honesty- for your example. It means so much more than you'll ever know.
I love you Sharon :)