Tomorrow is the first day of school for LCS (Lafayette Christian School). A month ago I would have been getting ready for the new school year. I would have been decorating my classroom, organizing music, going back and forth from my room to the office to rest my elbows on the office window sill to hang out with Mrs. Caroline and Mrs. Wanda. Tonight I would have been at the Open House hugging students and more than likely being mistaken for a student while signing up kids for chorus and drama.
Instead tonight I sit in my brother's apartment in Clermont, Florida. We just watched a movie and everyone is now having some time by themselves. My sister-in-law Rebecca is upstairs working on her computer, my brother Joel has gone to bed because he has to get up early for work, and my niece Madison is already asleep as well...I am here typing this for you. In my last post I asked for prayer on some decisions that I felt I was about to have to make. I was right. As soon as I came down to Florida the Lord began to really speak to me. He had already been leading me for some time, but I kept denying it in myself because of my circumstances. God allowed a series of events to happen to challenge my faith the past month or so.When I arrived in Florida He began speaking clearly through the Word of God, in my prayer time, and in the Sermons I heard. Jesus was calling me to follow Him.
It's what I had been wanting for 2 years: an adventure in following Jesus. All of the sudden there were no questions anymore about what He wanted me to do. I had to leave everything back in GA. This meant I had to leave everything that I was committed to, everything that I had accomplished there, everyone that I loved, all my friends, my position at my church, my students, two of my brothers and their families, and my parents. I fought with doubt and fear that God was really telling me to do this. I didn't want people to look at me different or think I was irresponsible. What WERE people going to think about this?? And at such SHORT notice. I fought in my spirit with this decision. I prayed and prayed and had people praying that I was making the right decision. I was so afraid to make the wrong decision and to displease the Lord.
But how silly is this. We are not supposed to live for the approval of man, but the approval of God. My heavenly Father knew my heart. He knew that all I wanted with All my heart was to follow Him. I wanted to OBEY. I was doing my best to seek wise counsel and handle this transition responsibly and spiritually. It was a scary few weeks, but I wasn't afraid of just anything. My fear of man was gradually replaced by the fear of the Lord. As I became weak and humble before the Lord, He began to give me confidence and faith. I started to actually FEEL strong. As I sought the Lord and laid my weak heart before Him, he picked it up and gave me the strength to do what He asked of me. The easiest decisions are not always the right ones.
Now I am in Clermont, serving at FBC Orlando as much as possible. God has opened up so many doors so far for me to use my gifts and learn from others in the body of Christ. I desire to pour my life into people, and sing my heart out over the people here until my heavenly Father takes me to the next place he has for me to go. Right now I am looking for a job to pay the bills and I trust that He has the best job for me....It's scary because I have never been on my own without my parents. I am thankful for my brother Joel and his family opening up their home to me. I am thankful for the support of my family and friends. I believe the Lord has specific things for me to do while I am here! I am learning to REALLY trust God and I believe that He is truly ALL I NEED.
My God performed miracles for me the minute I stepped out on faith and committed fully to follow him. LITERALLY! I glorify His name because He is worthy. I love Him and am so thankful for the Love that He continually pours on me.
